Monday, August 17, 2015

Tactful Conversation

One distinction that we should all make in our social lives is the finite line between debating with someone and conversing with them. In a debate, you would have to staunchly defend your side, and use every nasty dialectical trick to artificially make your side more appealing. This debating attitude is good and wholesome in the right context, but when in casual conversation, it is downright inappropriate. That's not to say that you shouldn't avoid disagreement with other people, that would neither defend your opinion nor strengthen friendships. The difference then, between debate and conversation is that conversation is a synergistic exercise where win/win solutions are found, whereas in debate, it's completely win/lose.

Therefore, when holding a conversation, don't immediately abandon your opinions, but also be receptive to what the other person has to say. Make sure to make concessions when to the other persons arguments and point out when they have a good point. Remember to not be contentious when talking to people as this attitude will give them a reason to dislike you. It's not a one against all competition, but a team sport, where more is accomplished if everyone works together despite the differences of opinion, style, values, and opinions. 

And if you encounter that person who's opinions are so dumb as to make it impossible to hold a conversation with them, follow Edward Gibbon's example: "I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect."

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