Imagine that you are taking a stroll through the park when you are suddenly assailed by thieves, but before you are pilfered, the leader engages you in conversation in the most cavalier fashion: "I thank you generously for your contributions today, as you see, we are poor men, who would otherwise perish if it twern't for your kind soul."
And with that, he and his thugs proceed to brain you with a baseball bat and borrow your wallet. Afterwards the leader examines the contents of your wallet, he takes forty percent, and leaves the rest saying: "For milk and groceries. You are welcome. Come back in two weeks."
You walk away dazed, praying that the stolen money might actually do some good for the "poor" men, and not just enable them to live riotously. As you walk, you begin to recover some of your senses, including your sense of smell. Your clever nose quickly detects a park vendor selling hot dogs. You realize that the beating has made you terribly hungry. You walk up to the cart decked in sausage links, and ask the man politely at what price his bratwursts are. You pay, and walk away happier than you arrived.
As you walk cradling your meal in your hands, you see a crowed surrounding a shouting man standing on a soap box. Normally, you might rather continue homeward, but a piping hot brat waits for no man, so you settle down on a park bench to eat and listen. The speaker shouted thus: "Everyone listen to me! A great evil has taken over our park!"
"Good!" you think to yourself while savoring the perfectly toasted bun. "Those park pirates are going to get it now!" Between the sweet relish and sweet revenge, you barely even feel the bump on your head anymore.
The speaker exclaims, "It is the evil of money grubbing hot dog vendors! They are strangling the poor with their twisted meats! They don't pay fair wages! They are deliberately poisoning us with processed meats! They have a monopoly on in-park food! You are tricked into buying their products through clever marketing schemes! They won't just give away hot dogs to disabled kids and single mothers! The hot dogs are greasy and the sellers are greedy! Hot dogs are built on minority privilege and class rule! Hot dogs stifle creativity! Vendors cut down rare trees in the Amazon to build their carts and hire seven-year-olds to work the meat grinders! Hot dog profits have rigged the 'Parks and Recreation' elections! Hot dog vendors only care about themselves and their own dirty self-interest; they don't care if hot dogs make you happy!"
The speaker finally took a breath and continued in a more rabble rousing manner: "What we need to do is to overthrow the cart! Let's seize the evil vendor's ill-gotten gains! Let's use that money to give to the poor desolates that sadly walk this park and whom will otherwise perish if it twern't for your kind souls!"
With that last remark your blood is boiling, for you knew that slogan all to well. All the speaker said may or may not have been true, but you knew this: that the vendor did you a service, and you paid him a service in return; but the stinking highway men, who claimed to be poor, clubbed you and stole a service from you without giving anything in return. You traded with the vendor using your freewill and were happier after you made the exchange. The poor thieves pounced on you like jungle cats and left you like a dying antelope.
Knowing all this you shout objection to this absurd plan only to be beaten again and stolen from, this time by the mob. Broken and bruised you make your sad way home, hoping that the vendor might be somehow spared the wrath of the vulgar mob. But, alas, the next morning as you walked through the park on your way to work, the vendor was gone and the cart lay on it's side. Empty.
Never again were delicious sausages sold in the park, and the mob, speaker, and the thieves ate all the hot dogs in a matter of hours. You resolved to avoid the park from then on, for all who walked through the park starved, were beaten, and stolen from until the park was made infamous and none wandered there. The poor thieves, bereft of victims, died from starvation or rolled out in search for fresh parks and fresh vendors across town.
The park was as desolate as the vendors cart: Empty.
And with that, he and his thugs proceed to brain you with a baseball bat and borrow your wallet. Afterwards the leader examines the contents of your wallet, he takes forty percent, and leaves the rest saying: "For milk and groceries. You are welcome. Come back in two weeks."
You walk away dazed, praying that the stolen money might actually do some good for the "poor" men, and not just enable them to live riotously. As you walk, you begin to recover some of your senses, including your sense of smell. Your clever nose quickly detects a park vendor selling hot dogs. You realize that the beating has made you terribly hungry. You walk up to the cart decked in sausage links, and ask the man politely at what price his bratwursts are. You pay, and walk away happier than you arrived.
As you walk cradling your meal in your hands, you see a crowed surrounding a shouting man standing on a soap box. Normally, you might rather continue homeward, but a piping hot brat waits for no man, so you settle down on a park bench to eat and listen. The speaker shouted thus: "Everyone listen to me! A great evil has taken over our park!"
"Good!" you think to yourself while savoring the perfectly toasted bun. "Those park pirates are going to get it now!" Between the sweet relish and sweet revenge, you barely even feel the bump on your head anymore.
The speaker exclaims, "It is the evil of money grubbing hot dog vendors! They are strangling the poor with their twisted meats! They don't pay fair wages! They are deliberately poisoning us with processed meats! They have a monopoly on in-park food! You are tricked into buying their products through clever marketing schemes! They won't just give away hot dogs to disabled kids and single mothers! The hot dogs are greasy and the sellers are greedy! Hot dogs are built on minority privilege and class rule! Hot dogs stifle creativity! Vendors cut down rare trees in the Amazon to build their carts and hire seven-year-olds to work the meat grinders! Hot dog profits have rigged the 'Parks and Recreation' elections! Hot dog vendors only care about themselves and their own dirty self-interest; they don't care if hot dogs make you happy!"
The speaker finally took a breath and continued in a more rabble rousing manner: "What we need to do is to overthrow the cart! Let's seize the evil vendor's ill-gotten gains! Let's use that money to give to the poor desolates that sadly walk this park and whom will otherwise perish if it twern't for your kind souls!"
With that last remark your blood is boiling, for you knew that slogan all to well. All the speaker said may or may not have been true, but you knew this: that the vendor did you a service, and you paid him a service in return; but the stinking highway men, who claimed to be poor, clubbed you and stole a service from you without giving anything in return. You traded with the vendor using your freewill and were happier after you made the exchange. The poor thieves pounced on you like jungle cats and left you like a dying antelope.
Knowing all this you shout objection to this absurd plan only to be beaten again and stolen from, this time by the mob. Broken and bruised you make your sad way home, hoping that the vendor might be somehow spared the wrath of the vulgar mob. But, alas, the next morning as you walked through the park on your way to work, the vendor was gone and the cart lay on it's side. Empty.
Never again were delicious sausages sold in the park, and the mob, speaker, and the thieves ate all the hot dogs in a matter of hours. You resolved to avoid the park from then on, for all who walked through the park starved, were beaten, and stolen from until the park was made infamous and none wandered there. The poor thieves, bereft of victims, died from starvation or rolled out in search for fresh parks and fresh vendors across town.
The park was as desolate as the vendors cart: Empty.
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